Hi I’m Devan. I’m a 24 year-old Canadian 800m runner and I’ve reached a stage in my athletic life where I feel the desire to settle down and commit to one protein bar.
I’ve played the energy bar field for a few years and while I’ve had fun and been (mostly) satisfied, I’m ready to find a more meaningful relationship with one brand. I’m looking for a bar to support my nutrition/recovery needs for running, but I also need something that can be a grab-and-go snack, and tastes great.
(Is that really so much to ask for? I don’t think so).

Protein was required in the making of this photo
More about my relationship with protein:
While grabbing the first bar I see on the shelf, taking advantages of sales, and having the freedom to eat whatever I want has been easy – I now feel the pull towards something more. I’m craving a more nourishing relationship. Additionally, I started seeing an awesome registered dietitian/sport nutritionist who really opened my eyes to the importance of protein. I didn’t realize I should be eating around 15g after workouts, and incorporating protein into my snacks (I know, I know, you’re probably thinking “DUH DEVAN”). I’ve always aimed to eat “healthy,” but I really didn’t have any nutritional knowledge so I’m excited to be adding this into my training.
“I’m craving a more nourishing relationship.”
– Devan, the Bar Bachelorette
This blog series will be *loosely* based on the popular TV series “the Bachelor/Bachelorette” [which of course I only ever watch ironically, don’t get too invested in, and would never bring up at work with my CEO and have a heated debate with him over lunch!!]
What I’m looking for:
In my search for love protein, I have some qualities that the winning contestant must exemplify. I’m looking for a partner with substance (protein content), that’s sweet (but not too sweet), brings some variety to the table (flavour options) and last but not least, isn’t going to break my bank account. Ultimately, I know that to find a partner I need to be willing to overlook some criteria and accept different ways to meet my needs and I am looking forward to exploring my options.
Meet the Contestants:
The “Clif Conglomerate”: Clif, Builder, Luna
Clif brings a lot to the table. The original chocolate chip flavour stole my protein bar virginity and will always hold a special place in my heart. Builder bar packs a punch at 20g of protein, and Luna offers a lower calorie options. This should be a contestant to watch for sure. If this were the real Bachelorette, when Clif got out of the limo their practiced pick up line actually made me laugh and they looked good doing it.
PowerBar
Another well known name, PowerBar is no stranger to protein. But do they have the je ne sais quoi I am looking for? PowerBar comes across well on night one, doesn’t get too drunk, or say anything embarrassing, and even provides comfort to an insecure younger brand. Well played PowerBar.
KIND
Attractive and tasty – but do they have the substance (protein content) that I need in a lasting relationship? KIND has caught my eye and I’m curious to learn more.
Quest
Quest is good quality and is accustomed to the high life. I don’t know if we’re at the same economic stage in our lives (They are $$$). Quest is like a strong minded independent business person who doesn’t care that some people may consider the taste “chalky” because they’re already successful AF.
Simply Protein
Introduced to me by my nutritionist, Simply has a solid reputation to live up to. Will a mutual connection spark a lasting relationship? They have a maple pecan flavour so hello, I am obviously all over that.
Vega
I am a little skeptical/frightened by vegan products. But this journey is going to push me out of my comfort zone. Maybe Vega is the token “crazy contestant” – could be our Chad, since he really loved eating raw yams.
SoLo
Wow, this bar tastes great and they sponsor a ton of awesome athletes! I am intrigued to learn more about the Gi benefits too – I think we might have a first impression winner on our hands here.
Atkins
These bad boys are often on sale for an excellent price at Safeway and they meet my post workout protein count at 17g. TBH they’re not too exciting looking… but beauty (and protein) does come from the inside.
Vector
Ah, my college fling. I was really into these for awhile. They’ve made it into the contest because of the past – but will that be enough to give us a future?
Larabar
So many flavours is dazzling, exciting, and a little distracting. I’ll have to see if they have the substance to go the distance….
ONE
Ah, there’s always a contestant that seems a bit out of the Bachelor/Bachelorette’s league and this would be the ONE. I sampled the Birthday Cake flavour when I was on a training trip in the US and haven’t been able to stop thinking about them… but are they just a fling? Would they be willing to move to Canada? [That didn’t work out very well for Nick & Vanessa ]
Costco/Kirkland
OK this one seems a bit… boring. But on paper it’s checking all the boxes. Enough protein, low sugar but still tastes good, inexpensive. I don’t know if I feel a spark… but not all relationships are love at first sight.
Picky
Another American option, these bars are beloved by my training partner Tamara and are GOOD. Plus, the founders are awesome athletes. These bars have the backstory to grab attention, and I think they could be around for the long haul.
Coming up next:
Stay tuned to find out who will get the first bite (aka the first impression rose) in Episode 1, and who will not be getting chomped and sent back to the grocery store. If you have any last minute contestant submissions shoot me a message/comment and I’ll get them in the running!
Hey!!
This is awesome, my sister has an energy bar review Instagram page. It’s @hannahreviewsbars if you want to check it out.
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She just gained a follower! (And I just gained some new bars to try… #winwin)
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you are hilarious. love this.
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