The Energy Bar Bachelorette: Episode 2



Recap From Last Week:

Last week SoLo received the first impression bite and Larabar and KIND were sent back to the grocery store for not having enough protein. While reminiscing with Vector about our good times cramming for exams and recovering after track practice when I was a UBC student was fun, I have different needs now, and they were also eliminated from the competition.

One-on-one Snack #1:

The first snack date is going to… PowerBar! Aside from munching on one of these before the 4x400m relay final at World Junior Track Championships in 2012 (we finished sixth, so a solid vote of confidence), I don’t have too much experience with this brand. Before I dive in, I am going to call a friend for advice. (Like how the Bachelor/Bachelorette always get “tips” from past contestants before their season starts – TBH I dunno WHY, 99% of those relationships have failed). I am calling on Kirsten, as she has very specific protein bar needs and has been loyal to the vanilla PowerBar for years. Although I suspect she might be settling as she remarked “looks and tastes like plastic, but I’m committed.” Hmmmm… She also said the vanilla flavour can be tough to find in-store.


Basic nutritional info: 20g protein (good – more than I need), calories 210 (seems good), sugar 14g. Number of ingredients I can’t pronounce: not as many as I thought – but more than other brands I’ve seen. Price: I found the chocolate peanut butter flavour on for $3.19 per bar (OK) and the vanilla for a whopping $5! (Not OK).

Our snack date is a bit meh. I feel like I should like them more than I do. While the lemon poppyseed flavour is way better than I expected (though my expectations were low), I don’t know if we’re right for each other. Something feels a bit forced.

*Cue dramatic music.* I decide I can’t give them a bite and send them home.


I’m not sure how a group date works here – I chop up a bunch of bars and sample them? Sounds good to me!


Builder bar comes across as aggressive in the group setting. At 270 calories and 21g of sugar there’s no doubt they’re one of the biggest and sweetest bars and I’m questioning if they can meet my needs. Luna bar is a much quieter side of the Clif Conglomerate with a lower 190-200 calorie count, 8-10g sugar and 8-9g protein, while the OG Clif bar comes in at 250 calories, 10g protein and a whooping 20g of sugar. An early leader, Clif might be in trouble after this group date.


product-fan-bars-500-2They come from a simple background, have natural ingredients and are the lowest calorie option of the bunch. Calorie count is not a priority of my contest, but the reality of track as a sport is that size can matter – so a lighter option could present advantages. That said, I don’t want to feel hungry after a big workout! Maybe I could have these as a side bae after a light run and look to a more substantial bar for after my big workouts? However, I am looking for one brand to rule them all… I am hopeful that Simply will have more substance than I am giving them credit for.


ChcPB5ct1710_3DlrAtkins is not one I would have considered for this contest if they hadn’t been on a “buy two boxes for $10 special” at Safeway ($1 a bar!) They also meet my 16g protein requirement and have only 1g of sugar! And they taste fine. Fine… not a word I want to use when describing my true love. Maybe I could upgrade them to “pretty good.” This is a suitor your parents like, and everyone says their nice, buuuuttt I don’t think it’s enough. #Friendzone

838766080154_-_Vega_Sport_Protein_Bar_Single_-_Choc_Coconut_1_grandeI have tried to keep an open mind to Vega’s vegan bar but I haven’t even unwrapped it when I’m stopped by the sugar content… 16g for 15g of protein? Those numbers do not make sense to me. There are also only two flavours – so there isn’t a ton of variety happening. UGH, the turmoil is real. I decide I am being small minded and biased against vegan Vega. I shouldn’t be casting it aside without a proper trial. I vow to take Vega on a one-on-one snack and give this relationship a fair shot.

imageServiceKirkland is like the girl next door (if you lived next to a Costco). They have everything you need: not too sweet, enough protein, easy to come by. BUT… they lack a certain spark. I’m just not that into them. I don’t want to take them for granted… but I don’t know if I can get past the feeling that I want more.


The Chomping Ceremony:

Suspenseful last bite given to: Clif Conglomerate (in a tearful moment they reveal there is also a nut butter bar I just have to try and I am too intrigued to say no.

Safe: Clif, Simply, SoLo, Picky, Kirkland, ONE, Vega, Quest, Temple, RXBAR, Nakd

Eliminated: PowerBar, Atkins, Kirkland

Next Episode:

A shocking reveal from my trip to New Zealand and a one-on-one with RX featuring an elite *mystery guest*. Plus, SoLo meets the family before hometown week? WOW! I hope you’re hungry for the drama ahead.

Published by devanwiebe

Canadian track and field athlete

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